(don't read if you are easily grossed out and don't want to know about my privats!)
Is it the toilet? Is it the drain? Is it the sink? Garbage disposal? Arteries?
Nope! It is my milk duct! And that is so much better than clogged arteries, but soooo much worse than a clogged sink. It hurts like poop. Oh, and just to mention it here since I said poop...yes, I STILL have hemorrhoids. And it is not like I have a memeroid, what I call those stupid little insignificant and painless hemorrhoids, I have HEMORRHOIDS! Now I'm trying out internal ones, external ones are a piece of cake compared, and I can say that, I had a grape cluster on my but after I had Mogwai!
All I can say is that my right nipple feels like someone tore the skin off of it and someone is really trying to stretch it from my couch to the back yard and put a hook through it in order to make a hammock from my boob. Try to visualize that. You know who you are... :D
Other news about my boob is that it wants to be left uncovered, so I was walking one boob naked all day around the house, with the exception of those three horrible hours when I had my sister-in-law come over and I had to cover myself. It is also literally twice as big as my left boob, on other days it's just bigger for about 50%. Now you can visualize that too. Just so it doesn't seem like I am always complaining, my left boob is gloriously well.
Too much information for you? Sorry, you were warned! :o)
Mogwai was cranky today....that little monster needs more attention, I know that. But, it's been extremely hard remembering to talk to him, and sometimes when I do remember, finding the strength and desire to do so. I am not proud of it, and of course I do talk to him, I just think I should and could do better. I feel very guilty...every day I make sure he is not hungry, he is clean and changed and that he takes his naps. He is very well taken care of in that way. But I need to get better myself, in order to be a better mom to him, I realize that. This is why our situation with insurance is so upsetting on top of everything. Even if by some miracle we will not end up paying the hospitals for which bills are now up to almost $50,000), who will make it up to us for this time we lost as a family? I will never have a chance to be a mom to my two month old, or 4 month old, or 6 month old...this is the most important time in my life, and I can't pull myself together anymore. I am starting to get really mild anxiety attacks again. And I am on freaking Zoloft! I don't know what to do if it gets as bad again like couple of months ago...
I am so excited about our trip to Moab! I view it in my head as introducing it to our baby for the first time, our favorite place. We will do some light hiking (but mostly driving) around the Arches, enjoy our cheep hotel (I love staying at hotels, not everyone does...) and then go to our favorite Italian restaurant and share creamy pesto gnocchi and Tiramisu. We will wake up on Sunday to Fathers Day, my hubby's first one. It hasn't been easy for him this last six months, working absolutely crazy hours, just to come home and do more homework, the weight of responsibility for providing for all three of us...
Even though stress gets the to both of us on most days, I love him to death, he and Mogwai are my life...so I'm crossing everything for us, for a fun trip and for unclogging of the clogged!
In the spirits of a true IKEA fan, Farväl !
Is it the toilet? Is it the drain? Is it the sink? Garbage disposal? Arteries?
Nope! It is my milk duct! And that is so much better than clogged arteries, but soooo much worse than a clogged sink. It hurts like poop. Oh, and just to mention it here since I said poop...yes, I STILL have hemorrhoids. And it is not like I have a memeroid, what I call those stupid little insignificant and painless hemorrhoids, I have HEMORRHOIDS! Now I'm trying out internal ones, external ones are a piece of cake compared, and I can say that, I had a grape cluster on my but after I had Mogwai!
All I can say is that my right nipple feels like someone tore the skin off of it and someone is really trying to stretch it from my couch to the back yard and put a hook through it in order to make a hammock from my boob. Try to visualize that. You know who you are... :D
Other news about my boob is that it wants to be left uncovered, so I was walking one boob naked all day around the house, with the exception of those three horrible hours when I had my sister-in-law come over and I had to cover myself. It is also literally twice as big as my left boob, on other days it's just bigger for about 50%. Now you can visualize that too. Just so it doesn't seem like I am always complaining, my left boob is gloriously well.
Too much information for you? Sorry, you were warned! :o)
Mogwai was cranky today....that little monster needs more attention, I know that. But, it's been extremely hard remembering to talk to him, and sometimes when I do remember, finding the strength and desire to do so. I am not proud of it, and of course I do talk to him, I just think I should and could do better. I feel very guilty...every day I make sure he is not hungry, he is clean and changed and that he takes his naps. He is very well taken care of in that way. But I need to get better myself, in order to be a better mom to him, I realize that. This is why our situation with insurance is so upsetting on top of everything. Even if by some miracle we will not end up paying the hospitals for which bills are now up to almost $50,000), who will make it up to us for this time we lost as a family? I will never have a chance to be a mom to my two month old, or 4 month old, or 6 month old...this is the most important time in my life, and I can't pull myself together anymore. I am starting to get really mild anxiety attacks again. And I am on freaking Zoloft! I don't know what to do if it gets as bad again like couple of months ago...
I am so excited about our trip to Moab! I view it in my head as introducing it to our baby for the first time, our favorite place. We will do some light hiking (but mostly driving) around the Arches, enjoy our cheep hotel (I love staying at hotels, not everyone does...) and then go to our favorite Italian restaurant and share creamy pesto gnocchi and Tiramisu. We will wake up on Sunday to Fathers Day, my hubby's first one. It hasn't been easy for him this last six months, working absolutely crazy hours, just to come home and do more homework, the weight of responsibility for providing for all three of us...
Even though stress gets the to both of us on most days, I love him to death, he and Mogwai are my life...so I'm crossing everything for us, for a fun trip and for unclogging of the clogged!
In the spirits of a true IKEA fan, Farväl !
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